The Floaters: Sorry, But This Ain’t the Jewish Meatballs

By John Kirk

Rating: C

When I consider the touchstone for zany, coming-of-age stories about summer camp, it’s the 1978 classic comedy, Meatballs. The Floaters, a story about teens sent away to Jewish summer camp, aims similarly but has too many themes to contend with and just can’t seem to decide what the main narrative should be.

If you remember Meatballs, it’s the story of a young camper confused about where he fits. The camp director takes him under his wing. The same camp director also leads a bunch of misfit counsellors-in-training who get up to crazy escapades and adventures. With encouragement and training, the director helps the young camper emerge victorious against their rival camp for more advantaged youths in a winner-takes-all olympiad.

It’s a simple, straightforward story that balances the main theme of emerging identity focused on one character’s growth against the rest of the cast. It’s funny, easy to follow, and heartwarming.

The Floaters tries to follow the same pattern but is weighed down by too many storylines competing for attention. It’s difficult to follow and frankly, just isn’t as funny as one would hope.

In this story, we meet Nomi (Jackie Tohn), just kicked out of her own band. Her old camp friend Mara (Sarah Podemski) is the camp director of Camp Daveed, a summer camp for Jewish kids.

Since Nomi has no immediate prospects, Mara convinces her to supervise a group of disenfranchised teens known as “the floaters,” the nickname for kids who don’t sign up for any programs. While trying to contend with her own failure, Nomi must somehow enable these kids to succeed.

Meanwhile, Daniel (Seth Green) — director of the rival and far-wealthier camp — visits to antagonize Mara and Nomi, apparently his old nemeses for some undisclosed reason. While Mara has her hands full with a broken septic tank system that will cost her $30,000 to repair, Daniel issues a challenge at yes, an olympiad of games, conveniently for that amount.

Also meanwhile, the floaters all have their own backstories and issues. One is a player with a nervous bladder called Wetspot (Jake Ryan). Another is a queer teen who is allowed to violate the no-cellphone rules and keep her device.

Then there is Jonah (Judah Lewis), who the camp hates for being a narc and a reluctant camper, and who seems to resent being Jewish. We meet a single-testicled tank of a teen known as One-Nut (Jacob Moskovtiz) and a couple of princesses known as the Delilahs.

Their challenge is to create a dramatic production that encapsulates their experiences of Jewish youth at camp. While they could do a rendition of established productions like Fiddler on the Roof, Nomi instead encourages them to think outside the box.

When Jonah comes up with an idea based on Sodom and Gomorrah that includes descriptive sex acts and fake penises, they start to work together to create a script. So, there’s that.

In terms of staff, we have the non-traditional Rabbi Rachel (Aya Cash) and Eli (Steve Guttenberg). Rabbi Rachel — probably the best developed character here — is a progressive rabbi who teaches krav maga and likes to challenge traditional Judaic ideas as they fit into the modern world. It’s not exactly clear what Eli brings to the camp.

At first glance, this seems like a rich premise coupled with a colourful collection of characters heading towards a hilarious story. But that’s the first problem with this film. There’s too much going on and not enough time for all these characters to resolve their storylines. In the end, some are handled quickly. Even the daring story the floaters were crafting turns into something wholesome but completely unfunny.

Well, they keep the fake schlongs.

Familiar actors Green, Guttenberg and Jonathan Silverman are completely underused. We don’t learn why Green’s character has such animosity to Mara and Nomi. Guttenberg’s Eli doesn’t offer anything funny, and his screen time is limited.

Silverman plays Jonah’s over-anxious father fixated on Jonah enjoying his time at camp. It’s a mediocre performance that adds negligible humour to the film. Background characters like the kitchen mafia are annoyingly mixed up, adding to the confusion of the main story.

And what is the main story? Is it Nomi’s need to feel successful even after being dumped by her band? Is it Mara’s camp leadership? The floaters’ quest for how they fit into the world or just with each other?

The absence of proper story reconciliation and the failure of jokes to land make this film a disappointment. It’s a shame though because there was so much to work with that, if pared down to one single hero’s story, could have been funnier and enjoyable.

This film needed Chris Makepeace’s Rudy the Rabbit or Bill Murray’s Tripper Harrison. You know, the stuff of legends.

The Floaters. Directed by Rachel Israel. Starring Jackie Tohn, Sarah Podemski, Aya Cash, Judah Lewis, Nina Bloomgarden, Jake Ryan, Seth Green, Jonathan Silverman, Steve Guttenberg, and Jacob Moskovitz. In theatres July 10.