6 Underground: Stupid, Violent Michael Bay Actioner Is… Stupid and Violent. Surprise!
By Kim Hughes
Rating: C
6 Underground, the new high-concept actioner from Transformers director Michael Bay, is almost comically bad although at no point during the movie did I find myself actually laughing. It was more like that proverbial hunch that at some point, possibly near the end of my life, I will desperately want these two-plus hours back to spend more meaningfully, like weeding the garden or organizing my kitchen utensil drawer. Guess the joke is on me.
Overblown, outrageous, exceedingly (at times giddily) violent and visually exhausting — does any of this sounds familiar? — the film is, to borrow a hackneyed phrase which somehow seems appropriate in this context, all sizzle and no steak.
Stop to think about the storyline, such as it is, and your brain will slowly unravel. Nothing makes any real sense and everything is a set-up for an action sequence involving speed, guns, and a wisecrack from lead actor Ryan Reynolds who essentially marshals the spirit of his Deadpool character but without the knowing sense of absurdity or truly clever lines.
Then again, it must be hard to hold your own against scenes presumably intended to thrill teenage boys inured to even the most extreme situations by video games. And yeah, accordingly, there’s hot chicks in the mix, notably French star and director Mélanie Laurent who should know better than to hitch her train to this wreck. At least Reynolds looks like he’s having a laugh; Laurent just looks lost.
The film opens with an extended, eye-popping, and unbelievably improbable car chase through Florence. As if speeding through narrow Renaissance-era streets wasn’t action enough, one character is removing a bullet from another character in the back seat as another heart-stoppingly scales nearby buildings.
We soon learn that these six rogue vigilante agents, who refer to each other by number only (hence the title), are good guys working deep undercover (really deep) to rid the world of evil geniuses and other dirt-bags Interpol can’t be bothered with. So begins the relentless, mindless action propelling the film as our heroes pursue some nefarious clown from fictional Turgistan as he pushes forward with his dictatorial plot to enrich himself further at the expense of the great unwashed in his homeland. Or something like that.
None of it matters anyway; 6 Underground is two hours of tricked-out stunts, impossible battle scenes, myriad slow-mo shootings and vicious smacks to the face brought to you by Michael Bay, the king of such things, which means I am — in the words of my esteemed colleague Jim Slotek — giving a duck a bad review for quacking.
That said, the film resolves itself in a way that unambiguously sets it up for a sequel or possibly a franchise should audiences take the bait. We shall see.
6 Underground. Directed by Michael Bay. Starring Ryan Reynolds, Mélanie Laurent, Corey Hawkins, Adria Arjona, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ben Hardy, Lior Raz, Payman Maadi and Dave Franco. Debuts on Netflix December 13.