Hawk and Rev Vampire Slayers: Proving Even Super Low-Budget Can be Super-Fun

By Thom Ernst

Rating: B-

Credit filmmaker Ryan Barton-Grimley for having the guts—some will call it audacity—to make a movie on a budget that's more cheese-string than shoe-string. But in Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers, Barton-Grimley makes sure every bit of cheese is into the film.

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Depending on your tolerance for DIY filmmaking, you can thank or blame COVID for nudging more prominent productions aside, allowing films like Hawk and Rev to squeeze in as legitimate players in the movie game. Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers is the kind of movie your cool slacker buddies would make to give everyone in the dorm a good laugh and not let that massive bag of weed go to waste.

But Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers has a larger platform and a chance at an audience more significant than their inner circle of buds.

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Barton-Grimley seems driven by a passion for storytelling and a disregard for how things are supposed to work. Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers is a funny movie, often a hilarious movie, and the most fun part is that it got made and found a distributor.

Barton-Grimley plays Hawk, a radical (maybe right-wing, we only know he isn't a liberal) who sees “freakin' blood-sucking vampires” everywhere. He killed one while serving in the military by stabbing it with the blunt end of a 2X4.

Of course, no one believes him, and Hawk ends up serving time in a military prison. Now, he works as a late-night security guard in an empty warehouse. After many uneventful nights, Hawk spots a group of vampires and their submissive gimp. Calling the authorities doesn't help, so Hawk turns to the only friend he has: Rev (Ari Schneider), a vegan, Tai-Chi-practicing pacifist given to severe panic attacks.

Rev is the Laurel to Hawk's Hardy, the Costello to his Abbott, the Lucy to his Desi. Together they enlist Jasper's help (Richard Gaylor), a hard-core terminator, to play mentor and help rid the world of these creatures of the night.

PROUDLY SUPPORTS ORIGINAL-CIN

PROUDLY SUPPORTS ORIGINAL-CIN

It takes time to latch onto the film's rhythm. Its low, low-scale production can distract from the comedy that never gets beyond goofy, even in full swing. But once Hawk and Rev have their foils in place (first Jasper and then a hilarious turn from Jana Savage as Hawks' halfhearted love interest), then the goofiness finds a comfortable home, and there is no stopping them from there.

Some audiences might not be able to get beyond the home-movie production value and turn the film off too soon. But hang in. The payoff, though often ridiculous and juvenile, is tons of fun.

There is a difference between no budget and no talent. Barton-Grimley has a talent that far exceeds his budget. Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers might be the film that gets Barton-Grimley the finances he needs for his next movie. Because as good as Barton-Grimley is, you wouldn't want him to work with a budget much lower than this.

Check this one out; you might hate me for it, but then again, it could make us friends forever.

Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers. Written and directed by Ryan Barton-Grimley. Starring Ryan Barton-Grimley, Ari Schneider, Richard Gaylor, and Jana Savage. Available March 11, 2021, on iTunes, Xbox, Google Play, and YouTube Movies in Canada.