Pinocchio: Wooden You Know, the 'Live-Action' Remake Would Be Less Real Than the Cartoon?

By John Kirk

Rating: C

When Pinocchio (voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) stops to examine a pile of horse dung in the road, Jiminy Cricket is nowhere to be seen.

This dull recreation of the animated film doesn’t strive for anything more than what was contained in the original version of this film and actually delivers less. For instance, Tom Hanks’ Geppetto is far more elderly and doddering than the one from the cartoon and the influence of Jiminy Cricket (voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is barely felt. Worse, Pinocchio doesn’t really learn anything, which negates the whole gift of the Blue Fairy in the first place. (As an aside, Cynthia Erivo’s performance as the Blue Fairy is a delight. Her voice does fill the audience with that sense of wonder they were expecting, but sadly, this is early in the film and is over too quickly.)

Like father, unlike son. Tom Hanks plays Geppetto in this version of Pinocchio.

Of course, this is the central issue with this film. Pinocchio is on a journey of self-discovery to learn about the values of honesty, bravery and good judgment through experience and consequences. For instance, when he joins Stromboli’s Puppet Theatre, he doesn’t even want to be an actor in this film. He just joins out of an innocent curiosity. He simply goes along with it, instead of succumbing to Honest John’s lackluster attempt at temptation. Pinocchio isn’t tempted to be bad – he just wants to see what it’s all about.

Of course, there’s no Jiminy Cricket around to convince him to go to school, because Pinocchio’s conscience is stuck in a crevice or has fallen down a hole in a clumsy way to avoid bad dialogue. After all, following the pattern of Pinocchio’s behaviour, as he isn’t genuinely tempted, then the conversation would probably go something like this:

Jiminy Cricket: “Pinocchio: you should go to school and not be an actor.”

Pinocchio: “Okay, Jiminy.”

… And that would be… Scene – a thoroughly, disappointing one.

The same can be said of visiting Pleasure Island. Pinocchio isn’t tempted into visiting this place where kids go to cut loose and misbehave – he just shows up. While every other kid is fully indulging in every type of vice a kid can think (extreme candy abuse, vandalism, root beer addiction), Pinocchio is simply an observer, pointing out to one of his new hooligan friends that he thinks he cheated at pool.

It’s like he’s an innocent bystander involved in an accident through no part of his own. As such, he’s just a witness to something bad which means that it’s impossible for Pinocchio to own his learning and fully grow.

The original Pinocchio was presented in a time when parents still believed in corporal punishment, kids snuck cigarettes in the street, gambled, looted and otherwise engaged in activities that today’s 21st Century helicoptered kids would never be exposed to.

The kids in the original Pinocchio’s time saw a child learn the hard way and this style of parenting isn’t conducive with how we expect children to become better people. Punishment isn’t popular and is often removed from the list of consequences for poor decision making. We see kids in the original film learning their lessons by fear, remorse and suffering, and that doesn’t jibe with a 21st Century audience of parents who just want a story of magic and fantasy to entertain their kids.   

Pinocchio is supposed to experience a change but there is no growth, merely an adventure that brings him back to his father. It’s a journey, but one that doesn’t contain an arc. Pinocchio remains the same character from the start of the film to its end. It’s almost as if Zemeckis felt he didn’t have to put any effort into the purpose of this live-action redux of the classic animated tale from 1940 or to make it relevant for a 21st century audience.

Pinocchio isn’t just about a puppet trying to become real. It’s about deserving to become real by understanding the human condition of suffering. But there’s nothing real about this film except for a sense of disappointment.

Well, okay the horse dung in the street looked pretty real.

Pinocchio. Directed by: Robert Zemeckis. Starring Tom Hanks, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, Cynthia Erivo, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Currently playing on Disney+