The Delinquents: Ramblingly Funny Argentinian Heist Movie is a Masterpiece of Slow Cinema

By Chris Knight

Rating: A

If it’s a spoiler to say too much about what happens in a movie, can it also be considered a spoiler to say what does not? Or that nothing does?

That’s not exactly the case with The Delinquents, mind you. A three-hour (and nine minutes!) masterpiece of slow cinema from Argentine writer/director Rodrigo Moreno, it has a very clear plot from the get-go. Unhappy bank employee Moran (Daniel Elías) decides he’s going to steal from his employer.

It’s that cinematic classic, the one big job, the final score, enough money on which to retire.

Moran (Daniel Elias) ponders “cashing out” of his boring office job in a sensible way.

Only in this case that’s literally, precisely true. Moran has his sights set on $650,000, which he’ll split 50/50 with his unwitting accomplice and coworker, Roman (Esteban Bigliardi). As he explains, it’s what they would have made over the following 25 years of employment. He’s just cashing out a little early.

And he’s not going to take the money and run. After snatching the cash and passing it off to Roman (whom no one will suspect because even he didn’t know this was going to happen), he’ll confess to the crime and do the time. Three and a half years, in fact, after which he’ll be free, the heat will be off, and he and Roman can divvy up the money and go their separate ways. What could go wrong?

Well, not a whole lot as it happens. Although Roman does get a little antsy being suddenly thrust into the position of bagman. And prison is not exactly a holiday. But the joy in this film hinges not on will-they-get-caught (though there is a bit of that) but how-will-they-pass-the-time?

This isn’t Hollywood heist territory. It’s Ocean’s Two. Mission: Possible. Reservoir Pups. The nearest real movie I can think to compare it is Wes Anderson’s 1996 debut, Bottle Rocket.

It’s an oddly funny journey, punctuated by some deliciously inventive camerawork (including the longest dissolve I’ve ever seen), a jazz-inflected score, and a treasured piece of vinyl that will have you searching out ’70s Argentine rock/blues band Pappo’s Blues.

And Moreno has great fun with the conventions of movies. Rather than give us easy-to-distinguish names for his characters, for instance, he calls the main ones Moran and Roman. Later one of them will run into Ramon and Morna. Is this dramatis personae or a game of Wordle?

Or take the scene in which a bank investigator (Laura Paredes) tries to suss out whether Moran had any inside help. The entire interrogation is punctuated by the intermittent squeal of a squeaky office chair. It doesn’t create tension. It’s just very, very goofy, not unlike the bit where the boss harshly informs his employees that he’s been working there for 55 years. “Fifty-five years!” He doesn’t look a day over 60. “How old are you?” someone inquires gently.

Given its Oppenheimer-esque running time, The Delinquents may require a little patience from its audience. But not all that much. The characters are all sympathetic in their way - if you discount the actual crime of bank robbery, there are no bad guys per se. And the rambling nature of the plot practically invites viewers to slow down a little themselves and sink into the movie.

Ultimately, the only thing The Delinquents is guilty of is stealing three hours of my time. And considering the joy it brought me, I might actually still be in its debt.

The Delinquents. Directed by Rodrigo Moreno. Starring Daniel Elias, and Esteban Bigliardi. Opens in theatres, Friday, Oct. 27.