Last Night at Terrace Lanes: Very Bloody Entry Boasts Blair Witch Producer… and Little Else

By Thom Ernst

Rating: C

A lot of blood is spilled in Last Night at Terrace Lanes’ brief 75-minute running time. Blood spilled on the walls, on the mascot, on the laneways, on the baby-blue hoodies and track pants of the murderous cultist, and on the bowling balls.

Lots of blood, lots of violence, and yet somehow, Last Night at Terrace Lanes never gets its hands dirty. Billed as a horror-comedy, the film avoids suspense, dread, and humour. Even the jump scares register as little more than a sharp rise in the soundtrack.

But none of these things fail for the lack of trying. Everyone involved seems to be on board to make the film work. So, why doesn't it?

Terrace Lanes, a vintage-style bowling alley marked for demolition, is having one last bowling blow-out. It's a bittersweet night for staff and regulars but primarily for its maintenance man Bruce (Ken Arnold), a whiz at keeping the balls rolling and the pins standing. Ever since Bruce's wife left, taking their daughter Kennedy (Francesca Capaldi) with her, Terrace Lanes has been a place of comfort and belonging.

It will be hard for Bruce to let go of the memories. Then, as if to offset the bitter with something unexpectedly sweet, Kennedy enters the building. It’s as much of a surprise for Kennedy as it is for Bruce. After her parents’ separation, in which Kennedy held her father accountable, Kennedy vowed never to set foot in the place again.

Bruce initially reads his daughter's presence as a show of support and perhaps an indication of possible reconciliation. It isn't. Kennedy has been brought to the alley by Tess (Mia Rae Roberts), who is unaware of Kennedy's connection to it, just as she's unaware that Kennedy thinks they're on a “date.” Without Kennedy's consent, Tess has invited Pete (Lucas Sanchez) and Cody (Elias Arnold) to join them.

The Terrace Lanes’ staff and its hairball group of regulars are about to see their night roll into the gutter when a death cult, led by the less-than-charismatic Dove (Christopher Walker), crashes the party and goes about the business of slaughtering everyone with a variety of rusty toolshed weapons.

The massacre could have been exciting or at least upsetting, but the killings are mostly kept out of frame. Blood spray is interspersed with someone putting ketchup on their fries, or the thud of a hatchet to the head is quickly cut away to someone slamming their fists against a locker.

Hitchcock did the same kind of thing in Frenzy (1972) when he cuts from the killer snapping apart fingers locked in rigor mortis with someone snapping a breadstick at dinner. But Last Night at Terrace Lanes isn't directed by Alfred Hitchcock.

The film is directed by Jamie Nash. And no, Nash should not have to be held up to the same standards as Hitchcock. This is Nash's first feature-length film as director. His previous work was as a screenwriter and director of short episodes in anthology films. More notable is Eduardo Sánchez, one of the film’s five producers, whose biggest claim remains as director of The Blair Witch Project (1999).

So, is it the film's cheese-string budget that's to blame? Partly, but not entirely. Granted, a larger budget would allow for better effects, but a larger budget has little to do with the film's languishing pace, and the script (written by Adam Cesare from a story by Jenna St. John) which ignores when logic would allow for a father and daughter to reassess their relationship.

Last Night at Terrace Lane had the potential to be good bloody fun but opted instead just to be bloody. Then again, it also chose to be only 75-minutes. So, not all bad.

Last Night at Terrace Lane. Directed by Jamie Nash. Starring Ken Arnold, Francesca Capaldi, Mia Rae Roberts, Christopher Walker, Lucas Sanchez, and Elias Arnold. Now available on Apple TV, Prime Video, YouTube and Google Play.