Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost - Ben Stiller Revives By Memory the Life of his Legendary Parents
By Karen Gordon
Rating: A
I started to tear up in the first few minutes of the AppleTV+ doc Stiller & Meara: Nothing is Lost.
The tender documentary, directed by Ben Stiller, is more than just a biography of his parents, comedy legends and actors Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller. It’s also a family affair, and a personal film for Ben, a quiet exploration of the influence the couple had both on Ben and his sister Amy, and how it affected him as a father and a husband.
Stiller squeezes an incredible amount into a film that runs for a mere 98 minutes. And while it’s loving and sweet, it doesn’t avoid the darker and more difficult aspects of his parents relationship and how that played out through the generations
Anne Meara, Jerry Stiller and their kids Ben and Amy
I suspect that there are a few generations now who don’t know the comedy act Stiller and Meara. The real-life married couple became famous through appearances on the Sunday night television staple, The Ed Sullivan Show.
Sullivan had a massive audience that tuned in every Sunday night. And the duo, the tall willowy Irish Meara and the shorter dark haired Jewish Stiller (in those days that in itself was notable) did so well that Sullivan made them, and their unique comedy, stars and household names. It launched them into a successful career as a duo before they broke the act up and went on to separate careers
The documentary is framed around Ben and his sister Amy Stiller, as they begin to clear out their parents' New York apartment, the place they grew up in, and that their parents lived in until Jerry’s death in May 2020 (Anne died in 2015), to put the place on the market for sale.
The family apartment looks warm, welcoming, and homey. It feels lived-in and alive, as if at any moment, Jerry or Anne is going to come walking back in.
The subtitle of the film, Nothing Is Lost, ends up having multiple meanings, and one of these relates to this treasure trove of memories.
There's a lot to go through. Jerry recorded everything on film, on cassette tape, writing sessions with Anne, and conversations with his kids. He kept love letters going back to the start of their courtship, but also kept notes from their writing sessions, scripts, family mementos, pictures, and press clippings neatly neatly organized in binders and stored in boxes.
Ben and Amy start to go through things, and the memories that those trigger forms part of the spine of the documentary.
The film tracks the story of Stiller and Meara, meeting as aspiring actors trying to get stage work in New York; falling in love, and creating their act as a way to get work.
Jerry and Anne were married for more than 60 years, and Jerry was completely and utterly devoted to Anne. Anne was tougher, and the one who struggled more with everything. She was loved by her husband and partner, who was a natural nurturer, but felt more burdened by her role in their collaboration.
Through the years she developed a drinking problem that Jerry refused to acknowledge. She yearned to go back to her first love, which was theatre. When she was eventually cast in an off Broadway production, that was the end of their comedy duo. Jerry went on to make movies and ultimately the role with which he’s the most identified, the comically volatile Frank Costanza on the TV series Seinfeld.
Ben and Amy’s memories as kids in a family, and reactions to their parents at different stages of their lives; Ben talks about the impact of growing up as the son of comedy legends while trying to figure his own path.
If you’re looking for Ben Stiller, the comedian, you won’t find him here. This is a quieter, reflective Ben. And the film ends up being more than just a biography. It’s not just his parents and their love story, their troubles, their career, but also of the legacy of their lives that continues to flow down through the generations.
Maybe the best way to tell you about that is to note that in the credits at the end of the film, there is a sequence that reads “A Film By:” and then every family member gets their moment on the screen.
It speaks to the legacy of things that are impossible to record: love, experience, encouragement, a sense of family and belonging that Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller gave to their children, and which continues through them into the next generation.
Stiller and Meara: Nothing is Lost. Directed by Ben Stiller. With Ben Stiller, Amy Stiller, Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara Stiller, Emma Stiller, Quin Stiller, and Christine Taylor Stiller. Streaming on AppleTV+ October 24.